


War at Home

by Genie60



Series: Poldark Series 2- Dribs and Drabs [19]
Category: Poldark (TV 2015)
Genre: F/M, Marriage, Poldark S2 scene filler, Prudie is the smart one, Reconciliation, Ross plays the hero, Ross sees the light, Separations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-12
Updated: 2017-02-12
Packaged: 2018-09-23 16:27:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9665471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Genie60/pseuds/Genie60
Summary: S2 Episode 10 filler--What might have happened when Ross came home and Prudie told him what had happened to Demelza before the march on TrenwithFor @MaxandMozart who wanted a  Prudie/Ross fic.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is my take on the final scenes in Episode 10. Some of this was adapted from Debbie's scripts and includes some cut scenes and dialogue. So I own nothing and take credit only for what I created with regards to Ross and Demelza and how I would have liked to see this play out.

 

 

 

 

_Prudie: Why would ‘ee go?_

_Ross: Because- though my own household is clearly in disarray!-there is something I can mend_

_Prudie: Without tellin’ the mistress?_

_Ross: Demelza has chosen to be elsewhere. She can hardly complain if I do the same._

 

Ross remembered this conversation as he neared Nampara. Thinking on it now he berated himself for taking the coward’s way out of dealing with a situation by running away to join the army. He acted like a petulant child who was not getting his own way.  Demelza was right in that regard; he was being dishonest with himself and rejoining his regiment was a way to continue to avoid what needed to be settled and more importantly, what needed to be said. As he approached the yard, he had hoped to see Demelza returned from Verity’s, engrossed in some chore.  Turning the corner, the vision of her hanging wash on the line that dismal morning a few months ago came flooding back.  He had returned then after his reckless behavior with Elizabeth, unprepared for the greeting he got.  Without needing to say a word, Demelza had made it clear that she knew what he had done and was not going to put up with it.  He involuntarily winced at the memory of her fist making contact with his eye.    

Today Ross couldn’t wait to see her and tell her what he realized and what he finally admitted to himself.  In his heart he knew the truth almost as soon as his breathing returned to normal and he moved away from Elizabeth that night. He should have left then but the events and turmoil of the day took its toll and he collapsed in a fitful sleep, dreaming of his beautiful, red headed wife whom he left at home.   By sunrise, his heart knew it as well. He was caught unawares by the fact that a devotion that had lasted ten years and was finally fulfilled turned out to be one of the worst mistakes of his life. That realization had him getting dressed hastily hoping that the ride home would help him formulate the words he wanted to say to Demelza.  However, when he came face to face with her his arrogance got in the way of remorse, and in typical Poldark fashion, the words that came out made things worse setting in motion an estrangement he didn’t expect or know how to handle. And it had remained that way until now.

Adding to that break was Ross’s inability to admit he was not strong enough to resist the emotions that had been roused in him the day and night of his encounter at Trenwith.  Unlike his wife who had the fortitude keep her marriage vows when she turned away McNeil he had failed and in turn had failed her.  He knew when Demelza had told him of her attempt to “have a turn” as she put it, but could not go through with it that she was telling the truth.  But his pride and disappointment in himself because he could not do the same drove him to make another rash decision.  Ross was all set to sign the papers to rejoin his regiment when the speech he made to Dwight and Caroline replayed in his head. That coupled with Dwight’s mention that a person ignoring their heart’s desire would spend the rest of their lives regretting it made him change his mind.  For once, Ross heeded someone else’s advice. Rejecting a commission, he found the fastest coach he could and made his way home.

So here he was, back at Nampara instead of France returning to the only things that mattered: Demelza and Jeremy.  He saw Darkie was still in his stall but there was an eerie quiet to the house.  Normally there would be the sound of Jud and Prudie having a row of some sort or Garrick barking.  More importantly there was no sign of Demelza. Thinking she might be in the house Ross made his way into the kitchen but saw no one except Prudie who, as often was the case, was sitting at the table.  There was bottle of rum and cup at hand but it didn’t appear that she was drinking. She jumped when she heard the door shut.

“Cap’n Ross! You be home!”  She rose and put her hands on her hips.

“It would appear so.  Where’s Demelza?  And Jeremy?” he asked as he dropped his ditty bag on the table.  He peered out into the hallway and across to the parlor but noticed nothing.  The quiet was making him nervous.

“Master Jeremy be sleeping and the mistress….” Prudie’s voice faded off as she couldn’t finish her thought.  She bent her head avoiding eye contact and Ross was getting impatient. It was clear that something was wrong and that his servant was reluctant to tell him.

“And where’s Jud?” Ross’s voice was insistent now clearly wanting answers.

“Jud went to the kiddley.  He and Paul be getting the villagers together to go…” Again she stopped speaking. This was getting out of hand and Ross was done playing a guessing game.

“Prudie!  What the devil is going on?!” He was practically shouting now and Prudie knew that he needed to be made aware of what had happened and what was going to happen.

“Jud and Paul were getting the villagers together to march on Trenwith.”   She finished the sentence quickly and waited for Ross to react.

“What? Why are they marching on Trenwith?  For god’s sake woman! What has been going on since I’ve left?”  His voice was harsh as he spoke, his jaw tightening.

Ross’s blood and mind were racing as he tried to comprehend what was happening. Why would the town go to attack Trenwith?  And where was Demelza?  If she thought to get in the middle of some mad scheme that Jud had stirred he’d beat her for sure.  Or could it be that she never came back from Verity?  Ross dismissed that thought because she would never leave Jeremy.

“They shot the mistress!” Prudie blurted out.  Ross stared at her a moment not believing what she had just said.

“What did you say? Demelza’s been shot?  Who shot her? Where is she? Dammit woman tell me!” 

Ross was starting to shake so that he balled his fists at his sides to keep steady.

“One of George Warleggan’s brutes, Tom Harry.   The mistress was by the path near Trenwith when she got too near the new fences and he took a shot.”

“Is she upstairs?” Ross started to run in the direction of their bedroom when Prudie grabbed his arm to stop him.

“No Cap’n. She be on her way to Trenwith herself,” she said slowly.  Realizing she had her hands on her master, she let go and stepped back.  Ross’s eyes were wide with disbelief and anger. 

“Trenwith?  But what about her wound?  Did someone call Dr. Choake?” Ross was totally confused now trying to figure out all that Prudie revealed.

“No. She bound the wound herself. She said ‘twas just a scratch and we weren’t to worry none.” 

At those words, Ross relaxed at little. So she was going to be alright it seemed but when he saw her he wanted to know what she was doing to get herself in that kind of danger.

Prudie saw that Ross was processing everything and thought it was the time to tell him what else the mistress said.

“She didn’t want us to tell you, Cap’n.” 

At these words Ross’ heart sank a bit. His wife, whom he loved with all his heart but had treated so badly, didn’t want him to know of her injury.  She’d rather go through this alone that have him help.  He really had mucked things up this time.   He had calmed down sufficiently to gather his thoughts so he could find out why she was going to Trenwith.  More importantly why did she go to Trenwith to begin with?

“Prudie, why was she at Trenwith?”

Prudie looked at her master and for a moment debated whether or not to give him the wakeup call he needed to hear.  Since that night he left the mistress to go to Trenwith, making a fool of himself and hurting Demelza, she had wanted to tell him a thing or two.  Now might be the time. Otherwise all might be lost.

“Prudie!”  Ross yelled and the servant started but didn’t shirk away from him.

“I do believe Cap’n that the maid went to Trenwith to confront Mistress Warleggan.” 

Ross’s eyes widened at the statement. Why in God’s name would Demelza go see Elizabeth? 

“What? Why?” he asked, totally incredulous at this fact.

“I might be put out for saying this but you need to hear it. What you did hurt the mistress to her heart.  She hasn’t been the same since and don’t seem to care about anything anymore ‘cept Master Jeremy. That’s not like her, you know that. Mayhap she went to find out what you and Mistress Warleggan had decided to do.  The maid was sure you were leaving her and the child.” 

Prudie caught her breath and waited for his response.  She was prepared to pack and leave but it had to be done.  All their lives were turned upside down because the master couldn’t keep himself controlled.

Ross, for his part was dumbstruck.  First how did Prudie know what had happened?  And if she knew who else might be suspect of his indiscretion?  Was Demelza the subject of town gossip because he was again reckless?  What a mess he’s made of everything.

“Why would Demelza think I would leave her for Elizabeth?”  He said almost to himself.  Prudie was amazed that he sounded genuinely confused.

“Mayhap because for years you’ve been nipping at that woman’s heels hoping she’d throw you a bone?!” 

She blurted it out before thinking and now was sure she would be tossed to the street.

“Beg pardon, Cap’n but ‘tis true and you know it.  Ever since you come back from war you been moonin’ for that woman.” 

Prudie shrank back a little and sat down at the table.  Ross’s initial reaction was to wallop Prudie for her defiance but part of him knew that what she was saying held some truth to it.  He reached for the bottle of rum on the table and poured himself a mug and downed it in one swallow.  He said nothing because he had no defense for what she said. Prudie could see that he was thinking about her comment and so decided to keep going. It was her one chance to have him listen.  If she was going to be out on the streets it might as well be for a good reason. She was about to say something else when Ross spoke up.

“Prudie, you’ve overstepped the boundary in speaking to me this way, you know that right? Who are you to judge what you think has happened?”

Prudie looked at her master and saw that his face belied his words.  He was worried and upset but not at her. At himself.  She’d been around him long enough to know what was behind his looks.  Just as Demelza did.

“And why are you defending your mistress when from the time she came here you wished her gone?” Ross asked.  Prudie thought about her answer before she spoke.  A rarity for the older woman.

“Cap’n,” she said quietly. “’Tis true, that when you brought the maid here all those years ago me and Jud weren’t keen on having her.  Since then, we saw that she weren’t just some common urchin you wanted to save.”

“And a workhorse who did all your chores, right?”  Ross’s tone was a tad condescending but Prudie didn’t say anything. 

“Yes, Cap’n.  She did.  But she is something else too,” she said.

Ross raised his head to look at her and waited for her explanation.  Prudie was going to give it to him just as she did Demelza weeks ago.

“Cap’n I known you since you were a whelp, from when your mother died, just like I told the maid. Your mother was a wise woman and I know if she met the maid what she’d say.”

“And what would that be Prudie since you seem to know so much.”  Ross was now becoming impatient about this whole thing.  He wanted to find Demelza and get to the bottom of things

“That the maid be your match. That no one else would be for you.  Which is why what you did makes no sense. What be you thinking that night Cap’n?  Or were you thinking at all?!” 

Prudie’s voice was scolding and motherly.  It was not what Ross expected and yet he was not surprised.  She was right.  But it was still not her place to say such things. Then again if she didn’t, who would?  He certainly didn’t listen to his own wife when it came to Elizabeth.  In fact he didn’t even listen to his own mind and heart.  He just acted.  He’s truly been an idiot.

“That girl spent the night walking the floors with the babe waiting for you to return.  She said nothing. She didn’t even shed a tear. Just kept to herself. Waiting and hoping.  When you didn’t return, I think she just gave up, thinking you were gone for good.” 

Prudie sounded sad as she seemed to remember that night vividly, her eyes never leaving her master’s face.  Ross listened intently to this as he had no idea what Demelza went through the actual night of his Trenwith visit.  Visit. That’s not the proper word. Visit makes it sound like he went for tea or cordials. What term should one use when talking about invading his family’s home uninvited and unannounced only to end up bedding his cousin’s widow?  There was nothing except reckless and irresponsible.  At times Ross wished he could turn back the clock to that day and replay it. Then there’d be no mine collapse, no death on this hands and no letter from Elizabeth.  Or if there was, he would not have reacted as he did. He’d listen to his wife.  His remarkable wife, as so many people have reminded him over and over again. 

“I had no idea, “Ross finally said.  “I didn’t think….”

“No Cap’n Ross, you didn’t think.  But she did and has been since.  You know she went to Werry house set on avenging herself, right?  She got herself all primped and powdered and set out to find someone to…. Figured what as sauce for the gander,” Prudie said. 

“Yes Prudie, she told me that,” he said, now trying to justify his actions.

“Judas! Do you really think the maid would do such a thing?  Do you not know your own wife?!” 

Prudie poured another drink for herself and took it down as Ross looked at her.  Of course he knew Demelza.  Or he thought he did.  Perhaps what he did brought out something in her he hadn’t known before.  But he knew that wasn’t true.  He knew deep down that Demelza would never betray him.  He looked at Prudie again, watching her wince over the bitter alcohol and had to admit that all she said was true.

“You’re right.  You’ve become quite observant in your old age, Prudie. I do know Demelza would never….” Ross didn’t finish that thought. 

“Cap’n you have to fix this. The mistress is the best thing that you’ve got going for you now.  And sitting here is not what ‘ee need to do.”

“What do you mean?”  Ross remembered now that this conversation started because Demelza was on her way to Trenwith. Again.

“Why was Demelza going to Trenwith now Prudie?” 

“To try and stop Jud and the men from burning the place to the ground.”

Ross couldn’t believe what he was hearing.  Had things gotten so bad and had George enraged the villagers so much that they would commit murder to get even?

“The village had enough of George’s bullying.  They attacked Paul and me and tried to kill my Jud but shooting the mistress was too much. He had to be stopped Cap’n.” 

Ross looked at Prudie and saw tears in her eyes. This woman who cursed the day he brought home the crawler infested urchin and had treated her with contempt for so long was now crying for her.  And what of that urchin turned his wife?  It was clear that Demelza had grown into the heart of not only Prudie but apparently Jud and the villagers as well if they were willing to risk their lives to fight for her honor.  Something he should be doing as her husband.  He wasted enough time the past months not working towards reclaiming Demelza’s love and he resolved to fix that now.

“How long ago did they leave?  Prudie!”  Ross was near shouting and caught himself so as not to wake Jeremy.

“Near half hour or so since.  I’m a feared Cap’n. Mistress appeared to be going to talk to Mr. Warleggan and his mistress.  That can’t be anything good.” 

Prudie eyed Ross with a “you know what I’m talking about” look which he chose to ignore. Right now he needed to get to Trenwith and stop whatever chaos Jud and the town were about to start. But more importantly, he needed to get to Demelza and bring her home.

“I’m going to Trenwith. See to Master Jeremy and if by some chance, Demelza comes back here, tell her to wait for me.  I don’t care how you do it.  Don’t let her leave!”  That last sentence was an order that Prudie knew he meant.  Prudie could see that something had changed in the Cap’n where Demelza was concerned.  For once not questioning his actions, she nodded.

“Yes sir,” she said.  She watched as Ross flew out of the room towards the library and took the pistols out of drawer of the desk. After checking that they were loaded gave one last warning look to Prudie and left through the front door. Once she was sure he was gone, Prudie returned to the kitchen, sat down at the table and finished her rum.

Ross ran to Darkie and saddled him, carefully placing the guns in side holsters.  It was completely dark now so taking the shorter route along the cliff edge would not be the safe so he rode the normal inland path.  He pushed the steed to move as quickly as possible, unapologetic that he was riding him so hard but he needed to get to Demelza.  Who knew what George and his men would do to her if they thought she was the reason for the revolt?  He was still yards away but Ross could see the fringes of flames and smell the burning wood from where he was.  Feeling that there was little time to waste he pushed on and as he neared the edges of the property, he heard the shouts and yells of the men as they advanced.  Knowing that he had to gain their attention before riding into the crowd, he raised one of the pistols and fired a warning shot into the air. 

Silence fell across the crowd as they split to let Ross ride in on Darkie. Automatically his eyes were drawn to the shock of red hair in a sea of men.  He recognized his wife right away and saw how she barely glanced at him as he came closer.  Still holding the pistol up, he felt it grow heavy and lowered it to store away while he took out the fresh one.  Controlling Darkie with one hand he held the clean weapon out with the other as he approached George, who pointed a four barrel pistol directly at him.  Demelza stepped to the side and said nothing but watched the confrontation unfold.  As much as Ross wanted to check on Demelza he focused on his enemy so they could settle this score once and for all.

George taunted him about being a coward for not going to war and Ross countered with the fact that apparently there was one closer to home that needed to be taken care of first. 

“It seems one of your brutes shot at my wife.  Care to explain that?”

George now felt more threatened that he did when faced with an angry mob.

“She was trespassing where she didn’t belong. The paths are clearly marked. She chose to ignore them,” George sneered, no regret in his voice at all.  “Or perhaps she didn’t understand them.”  That last statement dripping with sarcasm.

Ross fought hard to control his temper because what he wanted to do was jump off the horse and take George by the neck. Instead he confronted Jud and the crowd an implored them to go home before they were arrested and ended up in worse straits than they need to be.  Finally as they turned to leave, Ross returned to the issue at hand which was George.  So far Ross had not taken another look at Demelza and only now just noticed that Elizabeth was nowhere to be found.

Ross turned his attention back to George, reminded him not to provoke him as he could get the village to carry out the threat they had started. George backed off with one last statement questioning Ross’s intentions, to which Ross finally confessed what he’d been holding in his heart.

“And this is why you came back?” George asked, still waving the gun.

“No, I came back for someone I love.” Ross’s voice was low, but sure.

 He could see from George’s face that he was concerned as to who that could be.

“She no longer wants you,” George said with an insecure air of smugness.

Ross couldn’t deny that statement was probably true, but was bewildered why George would care about what Demelza felt.  And then the penny dropped.  George thought that he’d come back for Elizabeth.  How wrong he was.  With a gentle but firm voice he clarified his intentions.

“I realize that. But I’ll fight for her nonetheless.  If she will give me the chance,” Ross said. 

Then taking a breath, he turned to face Demelza and held out his hand which shook slightly.  Ross was actually nervous that she would reject him.  The air grew silent as those still standing outside waited for something to happen.  After what seemed like an eternity, Demelza moved towards Ross, took his hand and let him hoist her up into the saddle.  As she settled into the seat, she took the reins from him and felt his hands lightly grasp her waist.  Without another word, Demelza steered Darkie away from George and his henchmen, slowly leading the way home.   As they reached the group of their friends and villagers, Ross glanced back over his shoulder and finally saw Elizabeth, peering out the window of the turret room. For the first time, Ross felt nothing when he saw her face.  And that realization allowed a weight to be lifted from his shoulders.  He did not see that Demelza looked back as well to look at him and what he was staring at.  Saying nothing, she turned her eyes forward and continued to lead Darkie home. 

They rode in dark and in silence for half mile or so before Ross caught a glimpse of Demelza’s left arm and saw the bandage, stained again with blood.  He reached forward to cover her hand with his and asked softly,

“Are you alright?  Prudie told me what happened?  What were you doing going to Trenwith?”  He did knew the story from Prudie's but wanted to her Demelza’s side.  He did his best to not sound upset but he was.  Not with her actions themselves but because they put her in harm’s way.

“I’ll be fine Ross. It didn’t break skin too deeply. It just aches a bit.”  Demelza spoke staring straight ahead, not wanting to look Ross in the eye just yet. The stress of the day was tiring and wearing on her. 

“That bandage needs changing. When we get home let me take care of it for you.  I think I remember some things from being on the battlefields.”  He paused as something came to him.

“Remember when we tended to Francis after his duel with Blamey?”  For some reason that memory popped into Ross’s head; perhaps because it was the first time he noticed Demelza for the caring person she was.

Demelza was surprised that he remembered that day.  She had long forgotten most of it except that it was the first time she indicated to Ross that she didn’t want to leave Nampara.  Now almost ten years later, that was exactly what she was contemplating.

“I remember.  Twas the first time I knew where I belonged.”  Her voice was small, almost reflective.

“Yes,” Ross replied.  They rode some more before either spoke again.

“You still belong there Demelza,” Ross said. 

He felt her back stiffen against him and he thought he heard her sniffle as if trying not to cry.  They continued on when Ross asked again why she went to Trenwith in the first place. She straightened up and hold tightly to the reins as she spoke.

“I went to talk to Elizabeth,” she said flatly.  Now she was the one that felt Ross’s stature change.  The hand that was on her waist, gripped a little harder but she didn’t care. 

“Why?” 

“I wanted her to know that I wasn’t going to let what you and she did affect me anymore.  You both have to live with it.  I won’t.”  Ross could tell she was firm in her declaration and decided not to pursue the issue anymore while they were riding. There would be time enough to talk when they got home.  He was sure that they would be fine because she had to know now that he came back for her.

“I also told her she was welcome to you.”  Demelza made that last statement quietly and she regretted saying it once it left her mouth.

“You what?!” he cried. 

Ross couldn’t believe what she had said and was once again perplexed as to what was going on in his life, his home and most importantly in his marriage.

“Then why did you go back there tonight? What did you expect to accomplish?”  Now he needed to know what was going on in his wife’s head.

“I thought to warn George—and Elizabeth—of the coming mob.  I was concerned for Agatha and Geoffrey Charles more than them.” 

Ross could tell she was sincere and honest in her feelings. And once again he was amazed at her generous heart for even though he and Elizabeth had wronged her in the most selfish way and George had never treated her with any respect, she felt the need to go and protect them.  Dwight was right that she was a remarkable woman and he was lucky to have her.

Seeing that she had already said too much as it was she might as well tell Ross the news that George announced.

“Ross?” she started.

 “George mentioned that you had rejoined you regiment.  Is that true?” 

She spoke barely over a whisper and Ross, still reeling from her admission that she seemed to be ready to walk away and leave him to Elizabeth in addition to the fact that she tried to avert disaster was not prepared for her question.

“Yes.” 

“Then why are you here?”

“Did you not hear me at Trenwith?  I came back to fight for the person I love.” 

Demelza turned to look at him and even in the dark, could see his eyes shimmer with sincerity. It still didn’t detract from what she intended to do.  He still hadn’t made any attempt to make amends or even apologize.  She knew the Poldark stubborn streak would prevent that.  There was one more thing she had to share with him before he heard it from someone else.

“George also said that Elizabeth was with child,” she spoke quickly and said nothing after that. 

Ross didn’t say anything as he was still processing everything else they had said to each other on the ride home.

Demelza said no more as they were hitting the edge of Nampara land. They rode the rest of the way in silence, each in their own thoughts.  Once on their property Demelza pulled the reins and stopped Darkie right by his stall. Ross slid off the horse and then helped Demelza dismount as well.  Handing him the straps, she started to walk into the house, a plan formulated in her head when she stopped and turned to him. 

Their eyes met and Demelza could see that he wanted her to just accept his return, but she was resolute in her decision to leave.  Ross had yet to make any move to explain or apologize for the hurt he’d done. Since he didn’t feel the need to face it, she wasn’t going to either. Verity had said that someone had to be the first to make amends but Demelza was tired of it being the one.  It was time Ross did. 

There was a clap of thunder and the air smelled of a brewing storm.  Ross looked up and wondered if this was a sign of things to come between him and Demelza.  Securing Darkie in his stall he followed her into the house just before the heavens opened up and rain poured down.  She watched her go directly upstairs, most likely to check on Jeremy, when he saw Prudie emerge from the kitchen. She stood with her hands on her hips, as if she were his disapproving mother.

“Well?  Did ‘ee get to the maid?  Have ‘ee cleared the air?” she asked pointedly.  Ross ignored her for the moment.

“Did Jud come back?”  He asked

“Aye.  And none too happy that he didn’t get a chance to give Warleggan what ‘ee had coming to him.”

“Well, its better this way,” Ross said.  He closed his eyes and took a breath knowing what he needed to do.  When he opened them he saw Demelza’s trunks in the hallway.  He looked at Prudie who also glanced and the cased and then back at him.

“What are these still doing here? Have Jud take them up to the mistress’s room,” Ross ordered.

“Cap’n?  Mistress told him to leave them be.  Said she might be using them again,” Prudie said. 

Ross looked at his servant and wondered what she meant.  Prudie said nothing but gave him a look that said “you better get yourself together or you’re going to lose her”.  She turned and went back into the kitchen to deal with Jud leaving Ross to figure things out himself.

Taking the steps two at a time he headed for the bedroom, a foreign place to him lately, and stood at the doorway for a moment, looking at the back of his wife.  She was doing something but he couldn’t see what it was and so walked into the room, hoping she wouldn’t throw him out.  He wanted to start a conversation but wasn’t sure of how to do that after so many weeks of silence. There was a time when they could talk about anything, at any hour and never get tired of each other’s company.  Now it was a struggle to even say the other’s name.  Ross never thought they would get to a point like this and he knew he had himself to blame.  He looked at Demelza again as she continued with her task, when he saw her blood soaked bandage again.

“Demelza please let me look at your arm.  You should at least change the bandage before infection sets in,” he said from where he stood by the window. 

She seemed disinterested in his concern.  Ross knew his wife had a stubborn streak and so he brought up a different topic.

“So she’s with child. George must be exultant,” Ross said. “To be living in my house and in possession of—“. He didn’t get to finish as Demelza interjected.

“Everything you hold dear,” she said. 

Ross noticed the tone in her voice. It wasn’t bitter but perhaps a bit resigned.  He glanced at her wondering what she meant. Surely she must know that the all he holds dear is in this house; the most important thing was in this room.

“Not everything but some things,” Ross commented.

He continued to look out the window and didn’t see her assessing him and his reaction.

“You’ll get over it,” she said. 

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her grab something and walk out of the room.  He looked around the room and saw that her personal items were gone. What was she doing?   Ross called after her as he made a hasty retreat out of the room.

“Demelza!”

He made his way down the stairs and saw the trunks again and was reminded of what Prudie had told him.  What was his wife up to?  He walked into the parlor and saw that her carpet bag was on the table and she was putting random items from around the room in it.

“Are you leaving me?  I came back for you. I chose to return,” he said.  He found it unbelievable that after all this she was still mad and ready to go.

“That was your choice, and not my concern.  What is my concern are what I choose. And I’ll not choose a man whose heart belongs to someone else.”

“Demelza, what are you saying? _You’re_ my wife,” Ross said, his voice almost as plea.

“Yes.  A wife raised from the gutter to be a great lady? I’ll never be that Ross.  But what do I care? For I am fierce and proud and steadfast and true. I’ll not be your second choice.” 

She grabbed the bag and walked past him to the hallway, placing it with her other cases.  Ross watched her, not quite accepting that this was happening.

“What makes you think you are?”

Demelza stopped what she was doing and looked at him; incredulous that he could ask that question after all he’d done to show her that her feelings were warranted. For the past months everything he’d done seemed to be for Elizabeth’s benefit not hers. Did he not see that? Was he that blind to the obvious?

“Because Ross you still love Elizabeth. As you will always love Elizabeth.  And now you can’t conceal your pain at the fact that George possesses her body and soul!  Do you deny that?” 

She stood there, holding on to the trunks for support as she found herself trembling.  She had finally said to him what she’d been thinking since he came back that night. And what she was sure he was afraid to admit to her. Well now she was forcing him to face the truth in himself. 

Ross stared at his wife and he realized that his lack of communication with her had her believing this was his truth.  She didn’t know what he’d come to recognize over the weeks since his fall from grace.  Now was the time to open up to her.  He had to do it carefully for he knew Demelza was sure she was right and was set on going.  Any misstep or misplaced word could have this backfire and she’d walk away.

“I do not deny that I loved her. Long before I set eyes on you, she was my—perfect, untouchable, love. Someone beside which no one else could compare.” 

He paused and watched her face and saw that she was fighting back tears.  The words blunt but necessary. 

“When a man has wanted something for so long—has dreamed of it—but never possessed it—it seems to him as a Holy Grail—and he may spend his whole life yearning for it.”

Ross saw that she did not understand his intent. This was going horribly wrong.

“And I am dull, imperfect and ordinary, “she said, the pain in her voice obvious.

“No, Demelza!  Far from ordinary.  But yes-imperfect.  Human! Real!” 

Ross took a breath before he said the next thing that they had avoided discussing for so long because this was the pivotal moment; it was his chance to try and explain but not excuse what he’d done.

“What that night with Elizabeth taught me---and God knows there should have been another way to come to my sense.  But my arrogance, my idiocy has been spectacular and I will not seek to justify it.  All I can say is that after that night—no, because of it—I came to see that if you bring an idealized love down to the level of an imperfect one, it’s not the imperfect one that suffers.”

He stepped closer to his wife and saw the tears in her eyes.  More than anything he wanted to reach out to her and pull her to him but knew he could not.  Not yet.

“My true, real and abiding love Demelza is not for her, but for you.”

Demelza let the tears fall as she saw that this was a turning point for her husband; that there was a change in him and that realization allowed her to unlock that part of her heart she was sure would never open again.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks as always to all who are reading and commenting. And special thanks those who have been sending me requests. I am keeping a list (in addition to all that I've got churning thanks to the gremlins) and will try and get to them as the ideas come. 
> 
> And for those waiting with bated breath for the next chapter of "Trying...." it's being worked on as you read this......


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